Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. - Japanese proverb

We've all felt fear before. It's natural. Fear over starting a new business venture. Fear of getting into a new relationship. Fear of going back to school after being out for many years. Scared that the dog next door is going to jump over the fence and bite you! There are so many different things that we are afraid of. But are you allowing your fear to keep you from fulfilling your potential?

I want to share an excerpt from my forthcoming book, Realize Your Personal Legend: Finding and Nurturing Your Life's Purpose, with you. This chapter is all about getting over your fear to do the work you are called to do. Enjoy!

It can be frightening to take a chance at doing something that you want to do. It’s scary because you don’t know what’s going to happen when you take a risk. Will your livelihood be threatened? Will your friends and family disapprove? Will you fail?

Staying in your comfort zone is easy. But, is your life about always getting things right? Or is it about learning lessons and gaining wisdom?

“The man who can control his thought can have and do what he wishes to have and do; everything is his for the asking.” – Ernest Holmes

Fear is crippling and can keep you from achieving your purpose. Fear is a byproduct of your thoughts. In order to get over fear you have to change how you think. It normally isn’t a reflection of your current reality, rather the anticipation of bad things happening in the future.

Check out the following acronym for fear. F: False E: Expectations A: Appearing R: Real

Erica Jong wrote in her book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, that successful people feel fear just like unsuccessful people do, but they move past it and go for their goals anyway.

Do you remember the elation you felt at accomplishing something you'd never thought possible before? Our fear challenges us to become more of what we can be. And even if you are not able to do what you attempt, or it does not work out the way you hoped, don't you learn something more about who you are? Don't you find out what you need to improve on? Of course you do!

So what are you waiting on? In the words of rapper Mystikal, "Don't be scurred!" There's a dream with your name on it! LET'S GO GET IT!

Your friend in Courage,

Derek

You Deserve to be Happy!

I’m not much of a math guy, but I want to drop a few statistics on you. In a 24 hour day the average person spends anywhere from 8-10 hours at work, including travel. The average American starts working a full-time job at age 19. That person will work for the next 46 years. That’s an awful lot of time dedicated to your job! If you’re going to spend this much time working, don’t you think you should be doing something you enjoy?

I know that you have to do what you have to do. Maybe you have kids or you’ve got bills; you’ve got that vacation coming up. Hey, you’re grown and you have to take care of your responsibilities. But, are you truly happy? Is this really what you want? Or are you just settling for what you have? Do you believe that you deserve to be happy?

For the first 5 years after I graduated from college I had 5 different full-time jobs! That’s right 5! Can you imagine how unstable I was? Hopping from job-to-job and even getting fired twice. I had even launched business ventures that failed. My self-confidence took a major blow. There were times when I felt like a loser and even felt tempted to tell myself that. There were years when I just wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. It was pretty scary.

But even during the tough times I’d remind myself that eventually things would work out and I deserved what I wanted. I deserved to feel good, be happy, and be successful. What I’m trying to tell you is that happiness is a state of mind. You can change your life instantly by changing how you think and how you speak.

Do you know that your words and thoughts have power? They are actually forms of energy that flow from your mouth and mind out into the universe. The universe (also known as God, the Creator, etc) then takes what you say and think and gives it to you. You deserve to be happy because God wants you to be. You need to e at your very best in order to give your gifts to this world that desperately needs it.

With that said, check this out. YOU CAN ASK FOR HAPPINESS! When I’m in the midst of an unpleasant time I say to myself, “I want to feel good.” In essence, I’m requesting happiness. You can do the same. (For more on this, read works by Wayne Dyer, Jerry and Esther Hicks, and the Bible)

Before I go, I want to leave you with 5 Steps for Being Happy.

1. Think about times when you have felt happy, good or content. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing, thinking or feeling that made you feel happy?

2. Decide to make more time in your life to do more of what is important to you and makes you feel happier. To be happy, you have to make happiness a priority in your life.

3. Focus on what is positive about yourself, others and life in general instead of dwelling on the negative. In a journal, write down as many positive things as you can think of.

4. Appreciate what is working in your life right now. In the major areas of your life, such as your health, job, love life, friends, family, money and living situation, what is going well?

5. Get some help. Talk to someone like a psychotherapist, career counselor, or spiritual advisor (minister or teacher) to help you sort out what would make you happy.

Your friend in Happiness,

Derek

Do your thoughts match what you really want?

I spoke at a high school in Chicago yesterday and encountered some very interesting points of view. Aside from some students being clearly not interested in what I was saying (how would you take someone falling asleep in front of you?), I ran into a lively group. There was one young lady who sttod out among the 100 or so seniors I talked to.

She told me that she wants to help people and has aspirations of being a Psychologist.
I said, "That's great."
Then she proceeded to say, "I would love to make a lot of money doing that work. But, IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN."
Then I asked her if she'd really like to make money.
She looked me in the eye and said, "Of course I want to make money. Who wouldn't?"
I'm sure by this point in the conversation the expression of my faced showed I was confused. I said, "Let me get something straight. You want to be a Pyshologist and you'd love to make great money, right? But, your thoughts say 'It'll never happen'?"

I continued by telling her that if you continue to think that way, guess what you're going to attract into your life. Guess what your results will be.

IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN!!

Don't Let Obstacles Stop You!

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." - Michael Jordan

MJ is my favorite athlete of all-time (I love Jordan Brand shoes and apparel, too. But, I digress!). He has a said quite a few things over the years that have inspired me. But, this quote is right on time. Me and many of the people I know have some daunting challenges. Both my father and sister are dealing with illness other physical ailments. A few friends are going through tough times financially. Some once-strong relationships have turned for the worse. Others are having struggles in school or at work.

Obstacles are similar to mountains. They can be small, relatively easy to climb, and defeatable. Others are huge, hard to climb, and seemingly insurmountable. Either way, you have to create a plan to get over or around that mountain. Have you stopped and thought about what your plan will be?

When we're confronted by obstacles, sometimes the only thing we can think of is how difficult it is. But this is the image I want you to have in your mind: yourself getting to the top of the mountain and raising your fists victoriously at the summit!

Bad stuff is going to happen to us. We're going to have setbacks in life. When this occurs we are given choices: We can give up and fold under the pressure. We can look to others for help. Or we can look to ourselves and our Creator for strength, protection, and guidance. Never for one second think that you are powerless! Claim your victory! You are brilliant and you have the answers to your problems within!

What is your Red Rubber Ball?

I was reading one of my favorite books, Rules of the Red Rubber Ball by Kevin Carroll the other day. In the book, Carroll talks about the one thing in his life that was a constant; the one thing that he chased since he was a little kid on the playground; the thing that still inspires him today; the thing that kept him in school and brought all of his dreams true. It was (and is) his love of sports. Not just an "I watch ESPN all day" love. But, a passion for strategic play, for pushing yourself beyond your limits, for camraderie with others who are striving for the same goals.

My RRB's are: maintaining a sense of play in my work; encouaging others to be their best; and living a dynamic, purposeful life.

What is the thing that makes you most happy? What are you chasing everyday? What is your Red Rubber Ball?

Take a Chance on Yourself Today!

Now, you probably know her name. You might even watch one of her TV shows. You might have read about her in a magazine (she even has a magazine named after her and it's not Oprah). Who have I been talking about? One of the hottest media personalities right now. I'm talking about Rachel Ray. You might have seen her hit show '30 minute meals' on the Food Network, her new daytime TV show, or read her magazine. Rachel Ray is in her 30's and is doing what she loves and cashin' in. Bigtime.

But times weren't always so great for her. She used to do a TV show on public access with less than 50 viewers. She did it for years. For many years no one paid attention to her. Doubt forced its way into her mind. Desperation set in on multiple occasions. 'Throwing in the towel' and quitting surely crossed her mind. It had to.

I know it crossed my mind many times when I was struggling. I salute her because she never gave into her fears, her doubts, and kept pressing on. She would never let herself settle for mediocrity. What would her life be today if she never truly went for it? How would she feel about herself? When she's 75 years old and looked back at her life, how many regrets would she have? It doesn't matter if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, or 90+ years old because YOU have the opportunity NOW to do something SPECIAL. Why? Because you are SPECIAL. You are.

What if YOU, yes - you - never make a REAL effort to do something you love? To discover how to turn your passion into profit? To live life on your own terms. How will - you - feel? You'd probably feel like you drop a 12 pound hammer on your right foot, right?

One of my friends, who's a very accomplished business owner said to me recently: 'Derek, most people fail because they truly never try. They say they're serious about succeeding, but their actions never back it up. You have to invest the time in growing and make the investment in learning, if more people did both, more would live a successful life.' Rachel Ray invested in herself. Time and energy. You need to do the same because when you think about how your life would look, not doing it, it could become deeply upsetting.

I don't want you to have regrets. No one likes how that feels. Will you COMMIT today to investing the time and energy necessary for you to live your ultimate life? Will you make this a habit? Will you start being MORE DECISIVE now?