Funny Stuff: Life Lessons from He-Man!

Lessons from "A Raisin In The Sun"

Last night on ABC was the airing of the much-hyped TV movie, A Raisin in The Sun. The small-screen production was originally a play by Lorraine Hansberry that debuted on Broadway in 1959. The story is based upon a family's own experiences growing up in Chicago's Woodlawn neighborhood (my hometown!).

The strong performances of the cast members, which included Phylicia Rashad, Sanaa Lathan, and the ubiquitous Sean "Diddy" Combs, inspired a couple of thoughts.

1. Diddy is a perfect example of why it's so important to be considered great or an expert at one thing first. Back in the early 1990's he built a reputation (brand) for being a shrewd music mogul with a strong sense of style, a hit-making producer, and for having discovered many musical acts, such as Mary J. Blige, who went on to super stardom.

He focused all of his energy on being the best record executive he could be before he opened a restaurant, started a clothing line, and became a television star. Do you see the process? He became the standard in his respective industry then created spin-off businesses that were just natural extensions of himself and his brand. And now, there's a strong possibility that he'll be nominated for an award for his role as "Walter Lee Younger".

There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of ideas. Just don’t pursue them all at once. Keep a journal and write them down. Then, after you’ve established yourself, take a look at your list. You might find that you have some viable ideas that may work.

2. We all want opportunities to live our dreams. But, will you be prepared when the chance comes? Diddy's character, Walter Lee Younger, wanted so badly to get out of his situation as a low-wage driver who received even less respect. He begged his mother to give him $10,000 that she was getting as an insurance settlement. Then, when he finally got $6500 to go into business as a liquor store owner, he lost it to his "business partner" who ran off with the money.

Anyone can get conned out of money. However Walter Lee was so overly excited about he business that I wonder if he would've gotten duped had he done more research - on the business and his "partner".

One of my favorite quotes comes from Muhammad Ali: "I'd either won or lost the fight before I got in the ring." What Ali meant was that if he trained properly, put in the time, gave attention to details, bled and sweat, he knew that he was ready.

Have you put in the necessary time and preparation to be ready when your shot comes?

Don't Quit 'til You Got Nothing Left!

Cause of Procrastination #4 - F.E.A.R.

Succumbing to our fears makes it easy for us to start putting things off, delaying action and ultimately not completing tasks and goals we set for ourselves. Fear of how we're perceived, fear of failure and fear of success can stop the chronic procrastinator dead in their tracks. But, if we're to live up to our potential, we have to "do us". We can't afford to worry about how folks will look at us or their opinions. You have to live your life and be happy with it as do they have to live theirs.

Believe it or not, many are afraid of what will happen if they reach their goals and become successful. They fear how their life might change with new responsibilities. Along with this fear comes doubt about their worthiness of what they're seeking.

"The fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life," says Ti Caine, a hypnotherapist and life coach based in Sherman Oaks, California. "The fear of success is very real because the future is real-we're all heading there-and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us."

In their most basic form, these concerns are all fears of the unknown. in fact the acronym for fear, F.E.A.R., is FALSE EXPECTATIONS APPEARING REAL. Nothing has even happened that should make us afraid, yet we're anticipating the worst. The chronic procrastinator does not know what the outcome will be or how it will affect them and this causes their thoughts to tangle and become tense. They freeze and put off any action until they are confident that they know exactly how it will come about.

Invariably, this usually results in a negative outcome and increases the depth of their fear the next time they are presented with a similar situation or opportunity. After the collapse of two businesses it took me a long time to even consider doing anything else entrepreneurial. I was afraid that if I started another venture I would lose money, be embarrassed, and end up once again starting from the bottom. Because I couldn't let go of the past, my fears began to control me. It doesn’t take long for this to become a habit of life and common way of living for those that slip into the grasp of chronic procrastination.

American Idol Contestant: Exhausted All of His Options?

So I'm watching American Idol a few days ago and one of the contestants is voted off the show by the judges. There is always a wannabe singer who acts a fool when she's dissed by Simon Cowell. But, this one guy said, after he got the boot, "What am I going to do next with my life? I can't believe I didn't make it to the next round!" If you would have seen his audition you would've been surprised that he made it as far as he did. But, that's another story. Moving on...

Come to find out, the singer who was having a fit over not making it is only 21 years old. I'd say he has plenty of time to figure out what he's "going to do next." For entertainers, speakers, writers, cops, and just about anything else, there's always more than one way to achieve your goals. For a singer, American Idol is just one of hundreds of ways to make a living as a vocalist.

One of my friends is an actor who has uncovered a gazillion outlets that let her pursue her passion. She has appeared in movies, TV shows, plays, commercials, a "live" CD; created a theater company, acted in live Internet broadcasts, and currently, she's on a luxury cruise ship in Europe performing nightly shows. On top of that, she told me that if she didn't get another gig, she would become a teacher and coach others to theatrical glory.

When you think you've gotten to the point where you're ready to raise the white flag of surrender, ask this question: Have I exhausted all of my options? You see, if there's more that you can do, if there are more opportunities out there, then you owe it to yourself to seek them out.

Other questions to consider are: How badly do I want this? Am I really committed to this journey? What am I willing to sacrifice for this endeavor? Can I live with the sacrifices I may have to make?

It's often in the very process of achieving goals that we forfeit our victory. The danger in giving up too soon is that we never arrive at the place we're supposed to be. Decide today to pursue your dreams with all the energy you have. As my coaches used to tell me, "Leave everything you have on the field today!" Don't give up when you still have something to give! The best is yet to come!

Having Faith: By Kevin Bracy

Picture the day when you are able to wake up after a great nights rest and you are overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and achievement. The day before you has been planned by you and only you, there are no restraints, no obligations, there will be no rushing, no punching a time-clock...this day will be productive and prosperous.

What a far cry from starting your day by crawling out of bed frustrated, unfulfilled, unhappy, no sense of achievement and not even a hint of gratitude because your day entails doing things that you do not want to do, things that bring you no internal satisfaction. You would rather hide under the covers than face another day full of hard work, money challenges, self image issues and challenging relationships all thanks to you living outside of your purpose.

Getting to the day when you wake up refreshed, renewed and relaxed is not easy; there will be people that laugh at you, that say you are just dreaming, they may even tell you that you will never make it. You will even have days when you doubt yourself, when you think that doing what you love for a living will never become your reality.

Look closely, can't you see the momentum shifting your way? It may not be the wave that you have been hoping for, but I bet if you look you can find at least a hint, a sign of great things to come. Do you notice your revenue increasing? Remember, revenue is not always immediate, sometimes the revenue for the work you do now does not come your way for some time, be patient and keep doing the roadwork, it is coming...now do you see it? Are you noticing the growth? Growth in yourself, in your thoughts, your dreams...your possibility thinking?

FREEDOM, it can be your reality. You don't have to earn your living in a way that leaves you feeling empty, that takes time away from your true passion, from your calling. You can do what you love and get paid for it, you can have a fulfilling and prosperous career that allows you to get excited about all that you get to do each and every day.

How? One word...FAITH...confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, of an idea, confident belief in you. Have the faith to chase your dreams, to take a chance, to make a change in your life and put yourself in the position to help others do the same. Remember, faith is belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence; it is complete confidence...confidence in yourself, confidence in your abilities, confidence in your gifts.

Faith pays off. It just may be the last ingredient you need to empower yourself to live your dreams.

Have Faith. Do you?

By Kevin Bracy www.kevinbracy.com

Sorry, I've Been Recuperating

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I had back surgery and I've been getting some "R&R". I'm feeling pretty good today so I'll post something later. In fact there's a message a I want to share with you about something I saw on American Idol on Tuesday. I think it speaks to how we feel when things don't go our way and knowing when it's time to move on.

Be on the lookout for that later today.

Cause of Procrastination #3 - Lack of Confidence

With lack of confidence as a cause for procrastination, we often have great ideas and plans but never even get them off of the ground because we don't have the confidence we can actually accomplish what we set out to do.

Essentially, what we're doing when we postpone doing things that will enrich our lives is letting our music die within us. I can't imagine all of the cures for diseases, artwork, music, books, and leadership the world has lost because the progenitor didn't have enough confidence to bring it forth.

From January through December 2006 I thought about writing a newsletter that would empower and inspire people. Everyday I considered how doing something like this would brighten people's lives and help them on their journeys to success. I talked with friends whose opinions I respected and got their feedback. To a person, all of them said that it was a great idea and they could see me writing it. They believed in my ability to motivate an audience.

The only problem was that I didn't believe it. I would say, "Who am I to write about hope, success, faith, and love?" Or, "I want to do it, but who's going to listen to me?" Another of my favorite excuses was, "Suppose I run out of material to write about?" I wrote down the reasons why I should do it and what I would talk about. My mind raced back to when I was a high school student and my writing teacher told me that I "just don't have it." Then I would convince myself that "I'll get to this tomorrow". But, "tomorrow" came and went for 365 days!

Finally, on January 2 2007, I got the nerve to go ahead and do it. I wrote my first newsletter "Take a Chance on Yourself Today!" and emailed it to 20 of my closest friends and family members. I waited nervously for their replies. I was so scared - unnecessarily so - that their feedback would be negative. Instead, the responses I got back were very encouraging. They told me that they were proud of me and that I should keep sending the newsletter. People I didn't know started to email me for advice or to request that I write about certain topics. Other publishers have asked the kid who "just didn't have it" if they could reprint my essays.

Don't worry about your plans being perfect or if you know it all. There are no flawless plans. Nobody has all the answers. The most important lessons will be learned after you get started anyway. If you'll just take a chance on yourself you might be surprised by what you can accomplish.

Causes of Procrastination #2 - Overwhelm

This is part 2 in a 4-part series on discovering why we procrastinate. To read part 1 about how perfectionism hampers us click here.

When we think about all the things we have to do on top of the things we dream about doing it can be a bit daunting. You go to work for 8-12 hours everyday, you need to make sure your kids get home safe from baseball practice, and you need to get your breaks on your car fixed. Oh, and you have to eat, too! For many of us these are just the basics of everyday life. These activities alone are enough for anyone to handle. If you're an ambitious person, or someone who just wants to change your life, you probably have goals on top of your daily responsibilities.

It's no wonder why you would brainstorm a project, draw out an outline with deadlines, get advice from people you respect, and then do...nothing. You've got way too much going on already!

The feeling of being overwhelmed can quickly lead a person to procrastinating because they don’t know what to do next. They don’t know what the most effective action to take is because there are seems to be so many things that need to be done. This can happen quickly without warning.

The person who suffers from being overwhelmed will typically be the kind of person that likes to help others, they’ll take on so much responsibility that they will suddenly freeze with inactiveness. Once the feelings of being overwhelmed take hold it is sometimes very difficult for this person to make even the simplest decisions.

This is the point where some experts might say that you need to manage your time more effectively in order to do more things. This isn't totally wrong. But, I think the most important thing to do is find balance so that you can have peace. When you're at peace your mind is clearer and there's less weight on your shoulders.

Overwhelm has definite emotional overtones which may include stress, confusion, fear, and anxiety. There are also physical signs: tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, and becoming short-tempered. None of those states are ideal for overcoming procrastination. Many times we are reluctant to acknowledge to ourselves or admit to others that we are feeling overwhelmed because we view it as a sign of weakness.

If you stay too long in a state of overwhelm you will eventually progress to burnout. If you learn how to recognize overwhelm, avoid it, or recover from it quickly you will not only feel better, you will likely also be more productive!

Causes of Procrastination #1 - Perfectionism

Over the last year many people have written me and told me how the dreaded "P" word, procrastination, is a big problem for them. I have also - and sometimes still do - suffered from procrastination. However, I've discovered what the causes of this "condition" are. Like any medical professional will tell you, the key to curing any ailment is to know what caused it in the first place. Throughout the next few days I'll be posting about what makes us delay important activities for so long. And then, on my last post, I'll tell you how we can overcome this hurdle.

Perfectionism

As odd and paradoxical as it seems, perfectionism is perhaps the leading cause of procrastination. The perfectionist often feels that if something is going to be done, it might just as well be done perfect or not done at all. This leaves projects or tasks either dusty in the planning stages or if they do get started, left stagnant in the early steps of development.

Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching excessively high unrealistic goals. Perfectionism is like a double-edged sword--it cuts both ways. Perfectionists often don't realize that they are hurting themselves by their own actions. Perfectionism is a duel with oneself, the ultimate "no-win" situation.

According to a Psychologist at Baruch College in New York, perfectionists tell themselves that their determination to be perfect will win success, acceptance, love and fulfillment, yet the opposite more often occurs. Even when perfectionists do achieve, the methods they use can deprive them of the very love and acceptance they want so badly to gain.

What ends up happening in the life of the ‘perfect procrastinator’ is they start, and then stop and they start, then stop and start. They never seem to be able to follow through and others sometimes say they are ‘underachievers.’ Being tagged with this term generally leads to even greater amounts of procrastination.

This cause debilitates the procrastinator and leads to them not moving forward in their careers or family life because some simple thing isn’t as perfect as their mind feels it should be.

Facing Our Fears to Achieve Our Goals

Fear has a purpose. It helps keep us safe, keeps us from taking too dangerous of risks. For too many people though, the power of fear keeps them from improving their lives. In order to become self-confident you must believe you can try to change and succeed. Facing your fear is essential to living the life you most want to lead.

Being afraid is a pretty intense emotion. The first time we feel it we might not even know why. Strangely enough, it is not always the fear of failure that forces us to grab ahold. Sometimes it is the fear of success that takes the driver's seat.

To understand how to defeat your fear, you must understand its motivation.

Many times people can easily list the benefits to the situations they're headed into. It's what they don't know that's so frightening. "What will happen if I leave my husband?" "What will happen once we're married?" "How will this baby change my life?"

Fear can paralyze your ability to make decisions. When that happens, it's time to survey your options. The world is full of resources where possible outcomes can be rehashed and researched. Talk to other newlyweds and divorcees. Check out parenting TV shows, books and message boards.

Don't be afraid to use your personal resources. If a friend or neighbor has gone through something similar, talk to that person. There's no substitute for having been there.

Once you understand what kinds of consequences you're facing, it's much easier to prepare for them.

Get inspired by Majora Carter!

Majora tells how minority neighborhoods have suffered most from flawed urban policy, and energetically shares her grassroots efforts to "green the ghetto." I live about 4 miles from the area (South Bronx) that she's talking about.

The people in the South Bronx have been living in toxic, contaminated, polluted, run-down, drug-infested, poorly maintained communities for many years. Majora is working very hard to change this. She's a true freedom fighter who is using her life's purpose to improve the lives of others.

Britney Spears Needs Love and Happiness

Why won't they just leave the poor girl alone? I don't know about you but I'm tired of turning on my TV and firing up my computer and hearing about the latest drama with Britney Spears. I read the other day that paparazzi who catch her on the street can command upwards of $10,000 for a candid photo of her. Businesses are literally being built with her erratic behavior as their foundation. If there was no Britney there would be no TMZ, Entertainment Tonight wouldn't be as strong, and VH1 wouldn't have all these "talking head shows" like Best Week Ever.

As much as I blame the media for over-exposing her I would be remissed if I didn't take issue with Brit herself. Why go out in public where you know there are going to be 500 salivating photographers waiting to snap pictures of you? Why appear in court with another new boyfriend when you know the legal system is already questioning how stable you are? And yes, you're a grown woman who can pick your own friends, but why hang out with the poster-girl of recklessness, Paris Hilton?

It's true that people - even entire nations - feed off the collective energy and consciousness of others. As long as we continue to put out energy that drains us of our power, people like Spears, who are clearly unhappy, will stay in a state of distress. We must become more aware of what we say about people - whether they're in our presence or not. Our words serve as a conduit of either blessings or curses.

I one heard Dr. Wayne Dyer tell the story of a tribe in Africa that does something unusual when someone violates a tribal rule. Instead of shaming the person, they put them in the center of the village and the entire tribe gathers around that person in a circle.

For the next hour or two, everyone in the village shouts out all of the good things the offender has done; all of their character qualities; all of the things that are true and admirable about that person. By the end of this, the violator is usually in tears, which is when the village embraces the person and throws a party.

Imagine that: being reminded of who and what we really are after messing up. Think of how different this world would be if that happened more often. I'm not saying that Britney isn't responsible for her actions. But, shaming her into rehab doesn't help her or her kids. Spears is, like each of us, made in the image of God. She should be reminded that she is loved, valuable, and deserves to be happy.