Let's Start Raising Our Expectations

Promise me you'll give this a try. The next time you think about what you want from your relationships, work, and health make an effort to expect things to work in your favor. When something good happens, be sure to celebrate your success without thinking that your happiness can't last. You know me for having a positive attitude. Through this newsletter, my talks, and by how I treat people you probably wouldn't think I ever had a negative outlook on life. Just three years ago I was in a terrible slump. We're talking similar to the NFL's Detroit Lions who, by the way, won 0 out of 16 games this season. I had hit a pretty low point and stopped believing that I could live up to my potential. What made it more difficult was that I wanted to live up to my promise. I just didn't think i could. Whatever I tried to put together seemed to fall apart. Any effort I made to make things right appeared to immediately go wrong. I had thrown up my hands in surrender. At least that's what I thought. Even while I was in this funk my sister would tell me to do more, be more, and expect more. She would say (as she still does) "stop thinking so small. Think about how you can reach people globally." My thoughts would be, Sis, I love you, but I'm afraid you've gone mad. When things aren't going your way the natural thing to do is to lower your expectations. And that's exactly what I did. I was just following my instincts. What I was doing was lowering my expectations so that they were more in line with my reality. Dreaming about living a luxurious lifestyle? No way. Seeking my unique life purpose? Whatever. Going for greatness? Man, please.

When you've had a string of consecutive disappointments it's natural to anticipate pain and protect yourself from it. However, the key to turning things around is not giving up on your dreams. Rather, the answer lies in squeezing on to them a little bit tighter. No coaching, reading, or meditating can benefit you as long as you replay negative self-talk. As long as say you don't deserve to be loved, or no one will support your new venture or no matter how hard you try or how much you study you'll never be a good student, that's what you'll manifest. By the way, you will want to be careful about who you share your dreams with. To put it bluntly, some folks are, whether intentionally or not, "dream-killers". Not everyone can see and appreciate your vision. I was able to break out of my slump because I started to "manage" my expectations. What I mean is that I was careful about raising my expectations so high and so fast that I would be vulnerable to more frustration and end up surrendering my dreams. I employed a "stepping-stone" approach where I set small, short-term goals, achieved them, and then built enough confidence to go for larger accomplishments. By taking small steps you can make adjustments along the way, clear your vision, and raise your standards. Instead of being so stressed, frustrated, and disappointed, you will be contented with your progress because you will know where you're going and be better equipped to handle the journey. Expectantly yours, Derek