You Determine Your Destiny!

I've written several articles over the last year about being aware of our self-talk and living our purpose.

I shared a story about an incident that occurred where I talked myself out of a potentially great opportunity to network with Chris Gardener, author of Pursuit of Happyness.

While I might have missed out on the chance to work with an influential man who has done great things, I haven't missed out on my chance at greatness.

The truth is that no one person has the power to determine where you end up in life. Your boss might fire you, but it's up to you to bounce back and find another job. Your coach might cut you from the team but it's on you to get back in the gym and work on your game.

Success or failure in life is a result of cumulative decisions that you make. Yes, God, the universe, and other people work with you, but it is you who was given free will to choose to be who you are.

Yeah, there may have been people in your life who hated on you and second-guessed every move you made.

But, the dreams and goals that live in you were planted there by an unlimited Creator, not by people with limited vision.

If one person doesn't like your idea for a business does that mean you shouldn't do it? Of course not! Many of the most successful enterprises in the world - like Microsoft, Apple, Mc Donald's, and the whole hip- hop culture - were initially discouraged by those in "power" who said that their ideas "would never work" or were "stupid".

C'mon, look at YouTube, Facebook, and Myspace! People are becoming stars and getting book and TV deals from creating silly videos and songs. NONE of us ever thought that would happen!

Let's put the responsibility where it belongs - on ourselves. Most people go through life blaming someone else or life's circumstances when things don't go right.

I'm not trying to discourage you from listening to good counsel, however we need to take back our power. We can't let other people's negativity get into our heads.

I'm also not saying that the criticisms of our family and friends don't affect us, but we must stay strong and learn to look inward toward God when other men are trying to bring us down.

Never fear, though, because I have two simple solutions to help us have extraordinary futures, gain more control over our lives, and determine our destinies:

Read and Get Started.

The first simple change is to get on a reading program. In the next few years you will be the sum total of what you put in your mind. If what you are allowing into your mind on a regular basis is not in harmony with where you want to be in the future you may want to make some changes.

I could quote you some recent studies that speak to how little we read nowadays and how it affects our well-being, but I'll hold off on that. If you want the info email me and I'll send it to you.

What we focus on expands in our lives. If we put positive information into our minds we can more easily block out naysayers and increase our chances of attracting positive circumstances.

Too many people spend their lives "getting ready" to do something or waiting for the time to be "just right" before they will initiate a change of course in their lives. Yes, I know getting started is not always so simple and can be the most difficult and scary thing.

I've got news for you: the time is never perfect. You're never going to have 100% of the answers so you may as well get going.

You don't have to sky dive into getting started. Just take baby steps. But, get it crackin'! (If you want to know more about how to do this, email me and I'll send you the "1% Rule" newsletter from September.)

That's pretty much it. Sounds very simple, right?

Just remember, when other folks are shooting your plans and ideas down and the doubt is creeping in, you are who God says you are!

Derek

NAACP Award Nomination for Black Male Handbook

This is a book that I contributed a few essays to. Please check it out.

40^th Annual NAACP Image Awards- Have announced their nominees today and Kevin Powell is nominated for “The Black Male Handbook” under the literature category for Outstanding Literary Work- Instructional.

NAACP Image Awards air Live on FOX - Thursday February 12^th, 2009 - 8:00pm-10:00pm

This year, over 1,200 entries were received. From those entries, a special committee of 300 industry professionals and NAACP leaders as well as a few specialized subcommittees from across the country selected five nominees in each of 53 categories. Watch the star-studded awards show, hosted by Halle Berry and Tyler Perry, live to see the winners announced.

About The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint for Life: Edited by Kevin Powell, the book offers a collection of intimate, deeply personal and prescriptive essays by Powell and other influential Black me on surviving, living and winning. This is a “Must-Read” Guide and Call-to-Action for Black Boys and Men to Redefine Their Manhood for the Greater Good of Themselves, Their Communities and the World.

Let's Start Raising Our Expectations

Promise me you'll give this a try. The next time you think about what you want from your relationships, work, and health make an effort to expect things to work in your favor. When something good happens, be sure to celebrate your success without thinking that your happiness can't last. You know me for having a positive attitude. Through this newsletter, my talks, and by how I treat people you probably wouldn't think I ever had a negative outlook on life. Just three years ago I was in a terrible slump. We're talking similar to the NFL's Detroit Lions who, by the way, won 0 out of 16 games this season. I had hit a pretty low point and stopped believing that I could live up to my potential. What made it more difficult was that I wanted to live up to my promise. I just didn't think i could. Whatever I tried to put together seemed to fall apart. Any effort I made to make things right appeared to immediately go wrong. I had thrown up my hands in surrender. At least that's what I thought. Even while I was in this funk my sister would tell me to do more, be more, and expect more. She would say (as she still does) "stop thinking so small. Think about how you can reach people globally." My thoughts would be, Sis, I love you, but I'm afraid you've gone mad. When things aren't going your way the natural thing to do is to lower your expectations. And that's exactly what I did. I was just following my instincts. What I was doing was lowering my expectations so that they were more in line with my reality. Dreaming about living a luxurious lifestyle? No way. Seeking my unique life purpose? Whatever. Going for greatness? Man, please.

When you've had a string of consecutive disappointments it's natural to anticipate pain and protect yourself from it. However, the key to turning things around is not giving up on your dreams. Rather, the answer lies in squeezing on to them a little bit tighter. No coaching, reading, or meditating can benefit you as long as you replay negative self-talk. As long as say you don't deserve to be loved, or no one will support your new venture or no matter how hard you try or how much you study you'll never be a good student, that's what you'll manifest. By the way, you will want to be careful about who you share your dreams with. To put it bluntly, some folks are, whether intentionally or not, "dream-killers". Not everyone can see and appreciate your vision. I was able to break out of my slump because I started to "manage" my expectations. What I mean is that I was careful about raising my expectations so high and so fast that I would be vulnerable to more frustration and end up surrendering my dreams. I employed a "stepping-stone" approach where I set small, short-term goals, achieved them, and then built enough confidence to go for larger accomplishments. By taking small steps you can make adjustments along the way, clear your vision, and raise your standards. Instead of being so stressed, frustrated, and disappointed, you will be contented with your progress because you will know where you're going and be better equipped to handle the journey. Expectantly yours, Derek