Let's Start Raising Our Expectations

Promise me you'll give this a try. The next time you think about what you want from your relationships, work, and health make an effort to expect things to work in your favor. When something good happens, be sure to celebrate your success without thinking that your happiness can't last. You know me for having a positive attitude. Through this newsletter, my talks, and by how I treat people you probably wouldn't think I ever had a negative outlook on life. Just three years ago I was in a terrible slump. We're talking similar to the NFL's Detroit Lions who, by the way, won 0 out of 16 games this season. I had hit a pretty low point and stopped believing that I could live up to my potential. What made it more difficult was that I wanted to live up to my promise. I just didn't think i could. Whatever I tried to put together seemed to fall apart. Any effort I made to make things right appeared to immediately go wrong. I had thrown up my hands in surrender. At least that's what I thought. Even while I was in this funk my sister would tell me to do more, be more, and expect more. She would say (as she still does) "stop thinking so small. Think about how you can reach people globally." My thoughts would be, Sis, I love you, but I'm afraid you've gone mad. When things aren't going your way the natural thing to do is to lower your expectations. And that's exactly what I did. I was just following my instincts. What I was doing was lowering my expectations so that they were more in line with my reality. Dreaming about living a luxurious lifestyle? No way. Seeking my unique life purpose? Whatever. Going for greatness? Man, please.

When you've had a string of consecutive disappointments it's natural to anticipate pain and protect yourself from it. However, the key to turning things around is not giving up on your dreams. Rather, the answer lies in squeezing on to them a little bit tighter. No coaching, reading, or meditating can benefit you as long as you replay negative self-talk. As long as say you don't deserve to be loved, or no one will support your new venture or no matter how hard you try or how much you study you'll never be a good student, that's what you'll manifest. By the way, you will want to be careful about who you share your dreams with. To put it bluntly, some folks are, whether intentionally or not, "dream-killers". Not everyone can see and appreciate your vision. I was able to break out of my slump because I started to "manage" my expectations. What I mean is that I was careful about raising my expectations so high and so fast that I would be vulnerable to more frustration and end up surrendering my dreams. I employed a "stepping-stone" approach where I set small, short-term goals, achieved them, and then built enough confidence to go for larger accomplishments. By taking small steps you can make adjustments along the way, clear your vision, and raise your standards. Instead of being so stressed, frustrated, and disappointed, you will be contented with your progress because you will know where you're going and be better equipped to handle the journey. Expectantly yours, Derek

Down Doesn't Have to Mean Out

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela

Let this letter sink into your consciousness like lotion into your skin. Remember it when you're tempted to dwell on all of your mistakes, missteps, and shortcomings. Call it forth when you're about to compare yourself to someone else who you think has more going for themselves than you.

Don't let where you are today determine where you're going to be tomorrow. I was talking with a hero of mine, a gentleman named Willie Crawford. If you've spent significant time online in the last 10 years it's possible that you've heard his name. You may have even purchased one of his products. Willie regularly receives, on average, over $20,000 per month from his online ventures. He said that he might even make more than $100,000 this month alone! Yet, he doesn't run a major company with tons of employees. He runs his operation independently out of his home office. The guy has even written a best-selling cookbook! He is, without question, an Internet marketing "guru".

But, it wasn't always like this. He came from an impoverished family of tobacco farmers in North Carolina. In fact, most of the people that he knew were on welfare. He wasn't surrounded by positive, successful role models that he could learn from. So, how did he go from being down and disadvantaged to being a mega-successful entrepreneur? He realized that everything he had gone through in life were lessons teaching him how to prepare for greatness.

He learned - like we all should - that he is FREE. Free to decide his future. Free to live his purpose. Free to experience goodness. Free to help himself to anything he wants in life.

You have this freedom, too. But, are you going to let not finishing school keep you down? Are you going to let a failed marriage keep you down? Are you going to let bad habits hamper you and keep you from your destiny? Are you going to empower your misgivings? To put it plainly, how many times are you going to fall and stay down?

Just because you have fallen doesn't make you irredeemable. It makes you human. Falling is a part of living. It took me a long time to get to this point. But, I finally, really and truly understand that there is no shame in stumbling.

Failure is not determined by the number of mistakes we make. What matters is how we respond to our indiscretions. Don't let your faults and lapses in judgement become the defining elements in your life. The truth is that you have the final word on whether you make it or not.

In order for us to change the course of our lives we're going to need a combination of acumen, astuteness, cleverness, enterprise, get-up-and-go, industry, initiative, judgment, and resourcefulness. So embrace your humanity, love yourself, and don't give up when you fail - your success might be just around the corner.

American Idol Contestant: Exhausted All of His Options?

So I'm watching American Idol a few days ago and one of the contestants is voted off the show by the judges. There is always a wannabe singer who acts a fool when she's dissed by Simon Cowell. But, this one guy said, after he got the boot, "What am I going to do next with my life? I can't believe I didn't make it to the next round!" If you would have seen his audition you would've been surprised that he made it as far as he did. But, that's another story. Moving on...

Come to find out, the singer who was having a fit over not making it is only 21 years old. I'd say he has plenty of time to figure out what he's "going to do next." For entertainers, speakers, writers, cops, and just about anything else, there's always more than one way to achieve your goals. For a singer, American Idol is just one of hundreds of ways to make a living as a vocalist.

One of my friends is an actor who has uncovered a gazillion outlets that let her pursue her passion. She has appeared in movies, TV shows, plays, commercials, a "live" CD; created a theater company, acted in live Internet broadcasts, and currently, she's on a luxury cruise ship in Europe performing nightly shows. On top of that, she told me that if she didn't get another gig, she would become a teacher and coach others to theatrical glory.

When you think you've gotten to the point where you're ready to raise the white flag of surrender, ask this question: Have I exhausted all of my options? You see, if there's more that you can do, if there are more opportunities out there, then you owe it to yourself to seek them out.

Other questions to consider are: How badly do I want this? Am I really committed to this journey? What am I willing to sacrifice for this endeavor? Can I live with the sacrifices I may have to make?

It's often in the very process of achieving goals that we forfeit our victory. The danger in giving up too soon is that we never arrive at the place we're supposed to be. Decide today to pursue your dreams with all the energy you have. As my coaches used to tell me, "Leave everything you have on the field today!" Don't give up when you still have something to give! The best is yet to come!

Man Loses 400 Pounds without Surgery!

A courageous journey of personal transformation, fueled by friendship and the ability to trust after so many years, a man is able to lose 400 pounds. He is now best friends with his trainer, fitness correspondent for Good Morning Arizona, Chris Powell.

Four and half years ago, David Smith weighed more than 630 pounds. He had spent nearly a decade on the couch in his parents' house eating pizza, raiding the fridge, and drinking soda. For much of his life he said he "felt like the elephant man."

Today Smith is enjoying life and the inspiration he gives others.

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