Spiritual Questions Answered

I pray that this message finds you in the best of spirits. It's been a long time since we've been in touch. But, I'll take responsibility for that.

In the last few months I've put the final touches on the paperback version of Brilliance is Your Birthright, conducted more keynotes and workshops, and been on a mission to increase my knowledge in personal and spiritual development.

Some interesting emails have popped into my inbox in the last few weeks. These messages presented me with what I initially viewed as "tough" questions.

This quote kept coming to mind as I pondered my responses: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." With that thought, I realized that the best way for me to look at these inquiries was as opportunities. The person asking the question might be able to get clarity, I would have a chance to grow, and you might benefit from this dialogue as well.

Instead of agonizing over my answers I decided that the best thing to do is to just respond truthfully, from the heart, and through the lenses of my personal experience.
Find my answers to a few of these "opportunities" below. I'll be posting this on my blog and looking forward to any feedback you can give.

1. How can I imagine that I'm blessed when so many others are suffering with illnesses, hunger, and pain?

Are you healthy, strong, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, caring, ambitious, and educated? Are you sensitive to other people's needs? If you say yes to any of the above then you are blessed. I believe that one of the reasons we were put on this earth is to help others using the gifts we've been given. Many of the most philanthropic and purposeful people take action to help others because they know they have an answer to many of the world's problems. If they don't have an answer they're willing to roll up their sleeves and find one.

You don't have to attempt to feed the multitude with five loaves of bread and two fish as Jesus did. By helping one person you cause a ripple effect which helps their family, which improves their community, which changes the world. If you do this you are performing a miracle.

2. The reason why I don't have abundance is because I was taught that it's wrong to long for material things such as money, clothes, etc. Is this true?

Author and child specialist, John Bradshaw estimates that the average person has over 25,000 hours of recordings of their parent's voices inside of them. No wonder why we struggle to shake the ideas we have about the world and adopt new thoughts. But, there is nothing wrong with wanting nice "stuff". I think problems arise when we make accumulating "stuff" our only focus and we neglect our families, bodies, and spirits.


A lot of folks are using their "stuff" to compensate for a lack of love, companionship, and confidence. I've realized in recent years that happiness and joy start inside-out, not outside-in.

3. Why did God not create a simple world without drugs, suffering, crime, etc.?

I think the world, meaning nature, is perfect and simple. Is just that the imperfect people who populate it complicate things. There are laws that govern the universe and when we violate them we can cause pain. God gives us free will and the ability to make choices.


In The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, he encourages us to ask ourselves "What are the consequences of this decision?" and "Will this choice bring happiness to me and to those affected by this choice?" If more of us used these questions as a guide before we act I think we would see a world with less suffering.

Warm regards,

Derek

Down Doesn't Have to Mean Out

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela

Let this letter sink into your consciousness like lotion into your skin. Remember it when you're tempted to dwell on all of your mistakes, missteps, and shortcomings. Call it forth when you're about to compare yourself to someone else who you think has more going for themselves than you.

Don't let where you are today determine where you're going to be tomorrow. I was talking with a hero of mine, a gentleman named Willie Crawford. If you've spent significant time online in the last 10 years it's possible that you've heard his name. You may have even purchased one of his products. Willie regularly receives, on average, over $20,000 per month from his online ventures. He said that he might even make more than $100,000 this month alone! Yet, he doesn't run a major company with tons of employees. He runs his operation independently out of his home office. The guy has even written a best-selling cookbook! He is, without question, an Internet marketing "guru".

But, it wasn't always like this. He came from an impoverished family of tobacco farmers in North Carolina. In fact, most of the people that he knew were on welfare. He wasn't surrounded by positive, successful role models that he could learn from. So, how did he go from being down and disadvantaged to being a mega-successful entrepreneur? He realized that everything he had gone through in life were lessons teaching him how to prepare for greatness.

He learned - like we all should - that he is FREE. Free to decide his future. Free to live his purpose. Free to experience goodness. Free to help himself to anything he wants in life.

You have this freedom, too. But, are you going to let not finishing school keep you down? Are you going to let a failed marriage keep you down? Are you going to let bad habits hamper you and keep you from your destiny? Are you going to empower your misgivings? To put it plainly, how many times are you going to fall and stay down?

Just because you have fallen doesn't make you irredeemable. It makes you human. Falling is a part of living. It took me a long time to get to this point. But, I finally, really and truly understand that there is no shame in stumbling.

Failure is not determined by the number of mistakes we make. What matters is how we respond to our indiscretions. Don't let your faults and lapses in judgement become the defining elements in your life. The truth is that you have the final word on whether you make it or not.

In order for us to change the course of our lives we're going to need a combination of acumen, astuteness, cleverness, enterprise, get-up-and-go, industry, initiative, judgment, and resourcefulness. So embrace your humanity, love yourself, and don't give up when you fail - your success might be just around the corner.

Causes of Procrastination #1 - Perfectionism

Over the last year many people have written me and told me how the dreaded "P" word, procrastination, is a big problem for them. I have also - and sometimes still do - suffered from procrastination. However, I've discovered what the causes of this "condition" are. Like any medical professional will tell you, the key to curing any ailment is to know what caused it in the first place. Throughout the next few days I'll be posting about what makes us delay important activities for so long. And then, on my last post, I'll tell you how we can overcome this hurdle.

Perfectionism

As odd and paradoxical as it seems, perfectionism is perhaps the leading cause of procrastination. The perfectionist often feels that if something is going to be done, it might just as well be done perfect or not done at all. This leaves projects or tasks either dusty in the planning stages or if they do get started, left stagnant in the early steps of development.

Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching excessively high unrealistic goals. Perfectionism is like a double-edged sword--it cuts both ways. Perfectionists often don't realize that they are hurting themselves by their own actions. Perfectionism is a duel with oneself, the ultimate "no-win" situation.

According to a Psychologist at Baruch College in New York, perfectionists tell themselves that their determination to be perfect will win success, acceptance, love and fulfillment, yet the opposite more often occurs. Even when perfectionists do achieve, the methods they use can deprive them of the very love and acceptance they want so badly to gain.

What ends up happening in the life of the ‘perfect procrastinator’ is they start, and then stop and they start, then stop and start. They never seem to be able to follow through and others sometimes say they are ‘underachievers.’ Being tagged with this term generally leads to even greater amounts of procrastination.

This cause debilitates the procrastinator and leads to them not moving forward in their careers or family life because some simple thing isn’t as perfect as their mind feels it should be.

Facing Our Fears to Achieve Our Goals

Fear has a purpose. It helps keep us safe, keeps us from taking too dangerous of risks. For too many people though, the power of fear keeps them from improving their lives. In order to become self-confident you must believe you can try to change and succeed. Facing your fear is essential to living the life you most want to lead.

Being afraid is a pretty intense emotion. The first time we feel it we might not even know why. Strangely enough, it is not always the fear of failure that forces us to grab ahold. Sometimes it is the fear of success that takes the driver's seat.

To understand how to defeat your fear, you must understand its motivation.

Many times people can easily list the benefits to the situations they're headed into. It's what they don't know that's so frightening. "What will happen if I leave my husband?" "What will happen once we're married?" "How will this baby change my life?"

Fear can paralyze your ability to make decisions. When that happens, it's time to survey your options. The world is full of resources where possible outcomes can be rehashed and researched. Talk to other newlyweds and divorcees. Check out parenting TV shows, books and message boards.

Don't be afraid to use your personal resources. If a friend or neighbor has gone through something similar, talk to that person. There's no substitute for having been there.

Once you understand what kinds of consequences you're facing, it's much easier to prepare for them.

Someday It'll All Make Sense

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; Yea, with all thy getting get understanding. - Proverbs 4:7

A relationship that was once good went bad. A business that had potential to grow prosperous failed. Health issues that arose unexpectedly and had you questioning why this was happening to you. Maybe a loved one who you were just hanging out with has suddenly passed on.

When these things happen we want to know why. In fact, we want all the answers right then and there.

But, even more than answers, we want relief. We want a cure for whatever is causing our pain.

You may have even prayed and meditated about it over and over again. Pleading with God to give you the reasons why your life seems to be going downhill.

You say, "I'm a good person who has always treated people with respect. I'm not perfect but I do my best to live right. Why am I going through this?"

You pray, wait, question, and even cry as you seek clarity.

What my experience has shown me is that I rarely get the answers I want right then and there.

There's usually a maturation process that has to take place for you to truly understand what's happening.


Rarely do our issues go away in an instant. It often takes a while for us to learn.
Your education canprove to be quite intensive with many lessons along the way.

Sometimes there needs to be a behavior change. Other times we must shift our thinking in order to really grasp what life is showing us.

And then, even after there has been a behavioral and mental adjustment, it just takes time.

If you're like me, you're probably a little impatient. But, I've found that time has made me wiser and a better decision-maker.

Just keep holding on to your faith. Know that that God is with you.

I know very few people (myself included) who are actually in a place in their lives that they thought they'd be a few years ago.

Our lives have gone in a direction that seems to be off course.

But, if you get anything out of this letter, get this: Wherever you are in life is where you're supposed to be.

Don't be sad about it. Don't fret over it. You took certain actions that got you to where you are and there were other actions you didn't take.

That's all in the past now, it is what it is, and you can't change it. Just continue to press forward knowing that things will improve.

The pieces of the puzzle will eventually come together. And one day you'll understand why things are the way they are.

Derek